The Geeky Gift Guide: Portal

Showing posts with label Portal. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Blind Box Portal Sentry Turrets

Portal 2 Blind Box Turrets from ThinkGeek

Have you seen the little Blind Box Portal Turrets? One of my favourite little collectibles from the Portal games, these little plastic Aperture Science Home Safety Turrets are based off the "alternative" designs featured in Portal 2, which you can see projected onto the walls of one of the lift chambers between levels and of course, this promotional advertisement from Aperture Science.

Fortunately, Aperture Science no longer markets only to exclusive and secretive investors, but has made their murderously adorably product available on the open market, through Amazon and ThinkGeek.

Details

3 inches high
Solid plastic
No moving parts
Two Series
41 designs
Endless bullets

Available in two series, so far, each with some rare and random designs thrown in secretly, the first series features ten patterns that all look to be from the original designs (including the fantastic leopard-spotted Turret King). All ten turrets can be found both open (ready to kill) and closed (waiting), which makes for twenty different versions.

The BullsEye (series 1) and the Invisible Turret (series 2)
...just imagine testing with invisible turrets.

Series 2 is a bigger selection, with thirteen designs, including such glorious turrets as the Rainbow and Sunset, Hot Rod and Bee. It also includes a couple of original designs, such as the brick "Evening at the Improv".

The Bee and the Sunset (series 2)

The Tiger - Raaawrr!
(Series 2)

Price

Because they're meant to be random, blind boxed toys, if you want a specific one then you have to pay slightly more. Individual, identified turrets cost $15-20 on Amazon (not counting the rare versions, like this Series 1 Gold), while blind box packs are about $12.

On ThinkGeek, they're $5.99 (or four for $19.99, or 24 for $99.99!) for unopened, random turrets.

You may be able to throw in a turret as a Points reward on ThinkGeek (if you have already earnt points from a previous order)

More pictures!

I uh, accidentally ended up with an entire extra boxful of turrets (the 12 count Counter top display, which has no repeats!) in my order. Which is why I have so many. Mine! *clings* But this means you get plenty of pictures!

From left: Evening at the Improv (open), Earth, Picnic, Original, Bullseye (open), Rainbow, Classic, and a bunch of blurry ones.

Standing guard next to the Talking Plush Portal 2 Turret [reviewed here]
In order: Lemon, Bee, Bee (open), Sunset (open), Sunburst (open), Bullseye and Invisible (open)

>>Buy from ThinkGeek (unopened, better price)
>>Browse on Amazon.com (opened or unopened, rare versions)

Looking for more Portal stuff?
Check out these other reviews!

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Portal 2 Inflatable Turrets

The Inflatable Turret stands guard
over the plush
Weighted Companion Cube

Buy on ThinkGeek
Buy on Amazon

These fantastic life size turrets are officially licensed ~~toys~~ testing equipment that I greatly enjoy owning.

Reasonably tough, they stand forty inches high and slowly deflate over several weeks, but stand quite firmly on their three legs until that happens.

They're marvellous for Portal themed parties, or hiding around your house. Behind doors. In darkened corners.

A real inflatable turret to stand guard in your living room

Now, it may say life size, but it seems that it's actually a lot bigger than an in-game turret, standing at 40". But it just feels that way - it's actually 1:1 scale.

It's awesome and makes people laugh just looking at it. The turret's good points are that it's instantly recognisable to Portal players (and most internet geeks!), makes for a fantastic prop at a Portal themed party, packs down neatly when you let the air out of it and can be blown up using your lungs and SCIENCE.

It's nice and stable, won't break if it falls over and is pretty tough, so probably won't pick up punctures too fast. Unless your cat jumps on it, in which case it probably doesn't stand a chance (like mine did to my swiss ball the other day, which is now deflated and sad - and those things are really tough!).

Portal 2 Life-Size Inflatable Sentry Turret ThinkGeek

ThinkGeekCHECK PRICE

Would I buy again? Yes, probably - it doesn't do much but I am dying to have a Portal themed party now.

I may also have gone to a convention with friends, in Portal cosplay, carrying it around. BUT YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO PROVE IT.

Buy your own Inflatable Portal 2 Turret!

(Price: Approx. US$20-30)

For further field research, check out these surveillance images I recorded of these wild turrets: Portal Turret: Sentry Turret Photos

Also see: The review of the Portal 2 Talking Plush Turret and the Blind box Portal Turrets

Portal 2 Plush Turret with Sound

Buy on ThinkGeek

Buy on Amazon

Amazon.co.uk

Cuddly and motion sensing!

I wanted the Plush Turret from Portal 2 for ages, but it sold out whenever I actually went to buy it and then I angsted over whether the shipping was worth it.

But I finally managed to get it and it was so very definitely worth it. It sounds very real, is quite loud and is generally awesome. And it is sturdy and huggable, too!

I took this to a convention, as part of a group cosplay, and also had it set up on a stall. It would start calling out to people walking past, or be set off by curious bystanders taking a look at it, and was incredibly popular. And it was loud enough to attract more people, so it had a constant audience!

Battle of the Scifi Robots

It's plush and cuddly and much easier to hide in corners than the Inflatable Turret at 14.5" high. And of course, it talks. What is a turret without its creepicute voice?

It has three modes:

optical and shaking activated
optical only
off

It turns itself off after a while, but while speak up with "are you still there?" and "will you come over here?" during the 'downtime' minutes before it shuts down completely.

The optical sensor detects light changes, so it can detect movement up to a metre away in bright light but can't really see anything in dim light.

The 'shaking' activated options are triggered by movement, whether picking it up or kicking it across the room (it's 95% plush so it copes just fine with being bounced around).

The optical and the movement activated modes have different scripts, and it seems to be the full range of quotes from the real turrets (although not the 'different' turret).

Portal 2 Plush Turret w/ Sound ThinkGeekCHECK PRICE

The plush turret does not come with batteries, so make sure to buy them at the same time or have some ready (3 x AA) as you'll want to play with it straight away (it also needs a small screwdriver to open the battery compartment).

Buy your own Plush Portal 2 Turret with Sound
(Price: Approx. US$30-35)

For further field research, check out these surveillance images I recorded of these wild turrets: Portal Turret: Sentry Turret Photos

And read the review of the Life Size Inflatable Turrets! And if you want to see some adorably tiny, much cheaper turrets, see the Blind box Portal Turrets!

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Portal Turret: Sentry Turret Photos

Tired after their big adventure,
they hide from pursuit by
lurking in someone's house,
disguised as decorative toys.

Check out the
Portal 2 Talking Plush Turret review
and the
Life Size Inflatable Turret review!

If you've ever played Portal (and probably even if you haven't) then you will instantly recognise the robot that is the adorable, sleek, deadly and apologetic Aperture Science turret.

From giant inflatables to cuddly, talking plushes, they're the perfect companions to add that touch of elegant science to your home, and traumatise intruders.

Nobody can resist the plaintive cries of these adorable killing machines, as they track you with lasers and apologise for shooting you. So who could resist the magical science of real life turrets?

I have, of course, the willpower of GLaDOS when faced with a delicious piece of cake or a button labelled 'neurotoxin'. So I bought both the life sized inflatable and the cuddly, terrifying talking plush. They were perfect for cosplay, great for guarding stalls, and make a fantastic heart attack inducer, lurking in corners of my house.

It was a terrible mistake. They get easily bored with small domestic pods and go seek larger testing facilities, and my turrets escaped, to wander the city on a big Science Adventure. Unfortunately, they homed in on an annual scifi convention.

The following images are pieced together from security footage and cameras discovered on the remains of convention attendees.

The Great Turret Escape

In which our terrible turrets embark on a quest across the great Outdoor Test Chamber to find suitable test subjects. And shoot them.

This image was taken from a security camera on a train platform.

Fortunately there were no other passengers waiting, but the turrets apologised constantly anyway.

Reaching the convention, they wandered in vague confusion through the crowded test chamber, overwhelmed by the surfeit of test subjects, stationing themselves in random corners and viewing spots. Nobody reports seeing them move.

But then, they apparently spotted two rival robots. Whether out of some robotic rivalry, or an urge to test some worthy opponents, they observed the Dalek and the R2-D2.

The Inflatable Turret froze innocently, as the Dalek rolled past, judging it too great a test for their experiment. Once it had moved on, the turret began following the R2-D2 unit.

Held back by a passing scientist, who recognised the instinctive impulse to test the passing droid unit, the Inflatable Turret can only watch, and wait. For now.

Here we see the inflatable turret has spotted R2-D2. One can only assume that it took the presence of another scifi robot as a personal affront.A small child took this photo, then ran away.

The turrets were not foolish enough to take on the Dalek. The plush turret warily pretended to be inanimate, keeping an eye on it from a safe distance while the inflatable turret stalked R2-D2.

Should anyone notice it, it will use its store of catchphrases and unbearable fluffy cuteness to distract potential test subjects.

Security footage from the ATM shows the deadly, Angel-like stalk of the turret

Closer...

HOW IS IT MOVING?

The last recorded image of the turret in this area, found in the R2-D2's memory banks. The droid itself was found scattered in singed scraps across seventeen metres.

At some point after experimenting on the R2-D2, it decided to cunningly disguise itself with a fake moustache. It took three experts to identify it as the original Inflatable Turret and recapture it.

And, like all the other turrets, it claims to be "different". THERE IS ONLY ONE DIFFERENT TURRET. And it is not this one.

They were safely recovered, and are now kept in a locked room, surrounded by plush companion cubes.I hope to train them to become guard turrets eventually, with a great deal of experimentation. And science.

Want To Buy Your Own Guard Turrets?

Where did I get my turrets? ThinkGeek! (but you can buy them from Amazon as well)

Buy your own Inflatable Portal 2 Turret!

(Price: Approx. US$20-30)

Buy your own Plush Portal 2 Turret with Sound

(Price: Approx. US$30-35)

Read the proper reviews of the Portal 2 Talking Plush Turret and read the Life Size Inflatable Turrets!

Portal 2 Miniature Replica Portal Gun (For Cats)

The Portal 2 Miniature Replica Portal Gun
from ThinkGeek

The Portal 2 Miniature Replica Portal Gun was an officially licenced replica from ThinkGeek, and is the handy homesized and affordable version of the actual fullsized replica. This one is for cats.

No, really. I thought it would be funny to let my cat model it for size, and she started putting portals into the walls. I can't get it away from her!

She now has a semi-permanent portal between her food bowl and the fireplace, and just rolls lazily into it whenever she wants to get to one or the other.

Anyway, as you can see, it glows in two familiar colours, controlled by pushing a little switch under the back hood up and down with your thumb. Because it's built for cat paws, you have to hold it sort of like a pistol, with your fingers, rather than your whole hand.

The trigger is easy to pull, and makes a Portal noise. Pretty sure it uses AAA batteries, but I haven't had to change them yet. It also comes with its own stand.

It usually costs $59.99